The Filthiest MacBook Ever

by johnford on April 21, 2010

So this guy stumbles in with eyeglasses askew and looking somewhat disheveled. He mumbles something akin to, “My cat…. blah blah blah.” I slowly crack open the top of the MacBook clamshell and then seeing what lies under its lid I quickly let it fall shut. Opening my desk drawer, I slowly put a surgical glove on my right hand I keep specifically for this purpose. With gloved hand I open the Macbook and without a doubt, it has to be the nastiest laptop I’ve ever seen. I tell the gentleman in question, ” I’m not sure I can work on this machine. It will cost you $45.00 if you just want me to ‘diagnose’ the machine.” He says OK. The pictures below don’t do justice for just how filthy this computer is. The shot of the trackpad where it looks like just regular old dirt, is actually a combo of dirt and some kind of mold.

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Why Morons Sometimes Make the Best Radio Hosts

by johnford on April 12, 2010

I’m a puncher. Constantly punching around the dial on my drive looking for something amusing or the least common denominator of entertaining. I’m often caught tuning into KLBJ here in Austin for the morning drive show: Mark, Ed & Sgt Sam.

sgtsam0.jpgMark Cesar is the PD of KLBJ and the referee of the morning show. Ed Clements leans a little left of center and Sgt. Sam plays the role of the right-wing/quasi-religous spinster. The show if pretty fast paced with new topics often being spun almost every break. So habitually you will hear the hosts pontificating on a topic and callers referring back to a topic from a half an hour ago. As you might imagine, it can get quite confusing as a listener.

On to the topic of conversation…Sgt. Sam. To paraphrase Obi Wan: “You will never find more wretched jive of muttonheaded vapidity”

KLBJ’s Sgt. Sam is like a bad parody of a moronic Hank Hill without any common sense. I can be assured that every morning if I tune into KLBJ, I will hear something that will make me shake my head in disbelief that anyone could have such a lack of any semblance of critical reasoning or logic as Sgt. Sam. Add to this the fact that Sam’s diction would make George Bush sound like a grammar nazi. Case in point, last week I heard Sgt. Sam pronounce “phlebotomist” as well, pleb-bottom-ust (sort of sounding like hippopotamus with a Texas drawl with that hard P consonant in the beginning. I almost drove off the Mo-Pac in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Mark Cesar then clarified Sam’s mispronunciation by saying something to the effect of, “Oh, you mean someone who takes blood.”God bless Mr. Cesar. If I had to co-host a show with Sgt. Sam every morning I’m sure I would spend half of the show asking him how he could be so devoid of any logic and if a horse kicked him in the head when he was a child.

The fun part of Sgt. Sam is that the guy, undoubtedly without even trying, is a damn good talk show host. He’s opinionated, sticks to his guns, controversial and is guaranteed to always get a rise out of the listener, one way or the other. Some will listen to Sam because they agree with his down-home, and as they see it, “common sense” approach. Others will listen because they just want to scream and punch the radio because they so handily disagree with Sam. If you’re like me, you may listen because you find his lack of logic so compellingly humorous. But in the end, you’ll listen just the same.

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The Present and Future Apple iPad

by johnford on April 11, 2010

Or, where the iPad is likely to take us.

My God how the netizens love to prognosticate about Apple. It’s not a new phenomena. I’ve been in the Apple fold long enough to have lived through the high-flying ’80s, the “beleaguered” ’90s and the return of the triumphant Apple of the new century. I could have never foreseen the resurgence of the Mac from the early years of OS X. It’s easy to forget the crippling Carbon years, lack of software releases and users relying on legacy apps to get their work done. Yet there were some brilliant moves on the part of the Apple team: The end-around Adobe from NeXT Display Postscript to Display PDF to name just one. The next move from Apple with the release of the iPad? It seems obvious to me…ipad_accessories_6.jpg

The Mac will whither on the vine. I predict that within two years or less, Apple will release a “touch screen” iMac that will be the harbinger of a new era of desktop computing. The offerings of Apple for “traditional” computing will continue to diminish. The iPhone software will continue its migration from the iPad to the desktop iMac computing line. The iPad is not so much revolutionary as it is evolutionary. Consumers just want a computer that well, “Just works.” Despite many years of Apple telling the unwashed masses that their computers do just that, they haven’t until now.

Coming from a background in media and not computing I believe gives me a different perspective on this than the average geek. Grandma and Suzy consumer are used to devices that operate when you turn em’ on . They don’t care if it’s “open,” they just want the damn thing to work. As in work like a toaster, radio or TV. The iPad might just be the first computing device that hits anywhere near this target. The iPad is the first incarnation of a truly mature computing device. You want toast? Stick it in a toaster and push the lever down. You want Internet? Touch the iPad and it’s there.

Average computing consumers don’t care that the Apple iPad is a completely closed computing system, but they’ll love the idea that they don’t have to worry about malware, viri or endlessly fiddling with configuration to get it to “work,” because Apple and the AppStore controls the whole widget. No more fudging with permissions, directories, home folders, terminal, fsck. They touch it and it will “Just work.”

Here’s an even bolder prediction: Within 10 years Apple will not even make Macs. All future Apple “computers” will run some version of the iPhone OS. Apple will spin off it’s computing division and licensee OS X. Only this time the clone market won’t cannibalize Apple, because the lions share of its capitol will lie in consumer computing devices running the OS X “Lite” iPhone OS.

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Lake Austin congress avenue north to the capitol building close up of advertisiing on austin old building austin congress avenue advertinsg on old building dealy plaza dallas... to the back and to the  left

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New Delineator Recipes Cookbook – Sandwiches

by johnford on September 3, 2009

Chapter Two from the old cookbook “New Delineator Recipes Cookbook.” This chapter of the classic cookbook focuses on sandwiches and includes some classic 1920s recipes such as: “Anchovy Butter” and “Peanut Butter with Pickle.” What were they thinking?

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Stripper Radio Comes to Denver

by johnford on August 1, 2009

Artists Conception of the Stripper Radio Logo

Artists Conception of the Stripper Radio Logo

(From RadioNX.com. Hey, I know the guy!) Word came out of Denver late Friday that Indie 101.5 is stunting with a new “Stripper Radio” format called “The Pole.” According to the Denver Post, the playlist consists of a cross pollination of CHR and Rock hits such as “Addicted to Love and “Baby Got Back.” Interspersed with the typical pop tuna’ are drops of giggly toe-headed girls espousing the great virtue of “The Pole.” Uh huh. I tried to listen to the stream, however the page re-sized to a postage stamp and kept bugging me to upgrade Flash. Annoyed the hell out of me so I gave up.

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Everywhere You Go… There I am

by johnford on July 28, 2009

John Ford Point

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Pictures from the Edge Dallas 20 Year Reunion.

July 10, 2009

These are taken by assorted folks. I’m not allowed to handle a camera at these sorts of events.

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Edge Dallas Reunion Tonight

July 3, 2009

Heading north from Austin today to attend the Edge Dallas 20-year reunion. Should be fun. Hard to believe it’s been 20 farking years! Most of the original air-staff is alleged to be in attendance. If you’re in the North Texas area, stop by.

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Luckenbach, Texas

June 23, 2009
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Radio: Miracle of the 20th Century

June 21, 2009

I got this old book as a combo Birthday/Father’s Day present. “Radio: Miracle of the 20th Century,” was published in 1922, at the advent of the “modern era” of radio. Scanned in a few of the pictures and cover so others (as in you) could check it out. A couple of my favorite picts are [...]

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