The rings of Saturn never looked so good

So last night I overhear this young lady say “I’m movin’ to Dallas.” So a couple of minutes later I ask her if she’s really moving to Dallas. The answer I received wasn’t even close to what I had anticipated to flow from her pouty mouth filled with perfect pearly teeth. With a big shit eating grin on her face she said, “No… I’m not really moving to Dallas. I just say that because there are real men there. I just get so fucking sick of all the men here in Fort Lauderdale that shave their assholes.” Now how the hell do you answer a question like that? I was, shall we say, stupefied. The only response I could think of off the top of my head was, “What do they do there, pull them out one by one?” At this point she dove deeper into the philosophical reasoning behind her statement. (Amazing isn’t it that “Shaving assholes” could have a philosophical affectation) So she tells me that “All the men in Fort Lauderdale aren’t ‘real men.’” They shave their chests and arms and she always kids her friends that she’s ‘moving to Dallas’ as a joke because of her frustration over all this shaving and from what I can gather male hygiene and metro-sexuality (what ever that is). Now I’ve never considered shaving my backside, but I guess if you are going for that “perfect asshole” look, it’s a good place to start. I do wish this young lady well. And I hope her and that elusive life-partner she is looking for with an incredibly hairy rectum live happily ever-after.