Waiting for a haircut

So I wonder in to get a haircut today at the local Supercuts. I pick Supercuts mostly because I’m cheap and for the most part, vanity isn’t one of my big sins… yet. And even though I’m starting to really show quite a bit of grey in my hair, to be completely honest, I really don’t give a shit.

Fortunately the place isn’t too busy. But the two hair stylists working are busy and there are a half a dozen people waiting in the reception area. I stand at the desk for a couple of minutes before giving up and just joining the other plebeians waiting to get whacked. After about a minute of waiting, the phone rings…. One of the stylists runs to the phone and answers… “Supercuts.” What is it that makes answering the phone more important than actually waiting on an honest to God customer occupying space in the store? I’m here, I’m ready to spend money, I’m a fish that’s already been hooked and landed. For all this girl knows that phone call could be a telemarketer or stalker or her last boyfriend looking for a quick loan or a quick roll in the hay. But she puts everything down to answer the phone. Leaves the customer in the chair and me unattended in the waiting area. Yet somehow the phone call is more important. Needless to say, this is behavior I just don’t get it.

I’m always at a loss as to how I should respond when they ask, “How do you want it?” My hair cut that is. How the hell should I know. Shouldn’t’ they know? They are the experts. If I knew how to do this I’d attempt it myself. I usually just tell them “trim it up” or “take off an inch,” whatever that means. Let’s face it. If I really had any real idea of what kind of haircut I should have, would I really be going to Supercuts? I’d go somewhere where hairstyling is looked at as being more of an art form. Instead of a Supercut assembly line.

I think it was in the movie “Magnolia” where one character says, “it’s been years since anyone has touched me.” Are there people who go to the barber-hairstylist just to get someone to touch them? Because if you’re lucky enough to have someone cut your hair that has the “right” touch, it can be a very sensual experience. I wonder if anyone has ever opened a topless barbershop. This to me seems pretty obvious. There have been topless donut shops and topless car washes, but topless barbers! Throw in a shampoo for an extra five bucks and who could ask for more. “Would you like some gel with that?” Yes ma’am!

I think I’m next up. But I gotta’ tell you, if the phone rings and she leaves me alone in the chair with that stupid black smock on to answer that ringing monster, I may just have to stab her in the chest with a pair of thinning shears.