2:52 AM

Do you believe in fate, or predestination or whatever it’s called. Do you believe that people or events are drawn together by forces they can’t or don’t understand. That sometimes things and people happen, or are allowed to happen, that just defies logic. That sometimes all that is required is a leap of faith to fulfill that thing, that moment in time. That fate.

I know for myself the most important events in my life were always completely beyond my control. They spun like a wheel around time and places, and became the best and most of all things. Every once in a while we/I become connected to someone else despite our worst or best intentions. It’s almost like we have no control. A tight connection to the heart can only become unchained by the heart itself. Be still my beating heart. Listen for the silence. The meeting between the beats, the silence of connection.

I had a dream a few weeks ago. I dreamed of a girl/woman whom I thought I knew. With a name I have known, a heart I have yet to know, and a face I have never and always known. The dream was about the name. And this beautiful woman told me her name. Someone was speaking to my heart and I was listening to my voice but I could only hear my heart. Only the beats, not the spaces. The dream came and went. Until the next day. And someone said “I am that name.” I was lost and blinded by my own dreams in the waking hours. But now in this twilight I’m full of cheap booze and dreams. I should sleep. And maybe I’ll dream that name again to the waking hours in the dawn of my day. In the sunrise of my soul.