Two weeks ago I decided to was time to loose some weight. The final straw was that I had to attend a business meeting and I had come to the point where I didn’t have any suits that fit me comfortably any more. I had finally had enough. So 2 weeks ago I decided to start my new diet plan: I call it “The Starvation Diet.” Basically it consists of not eating. Only one small meal a day. Only enough to make my body scream with pangs that feel like the alien is ready to jump out of Ripley’s chest. Two weeks in to this thing I’m actually doing well. I’ve lost about 10 pounds. I’m now at 165. My target is maybe 95 pounds, so I figure I’m going to have to eat cardboard for the next 10 years. I wonder if I could write a diet book?