a season in hell

I am ripped and bleeding flesh on a rusty barbed-wire fence. There is no grace, there is no mercy. Only tattered carrion hungry for further decay. How could a heart, once so sweet, so full of tenderness, have become so vile. Corruption you are become my grace. There are no answers, there are no questions. Only riddles of a milky mirror reflecting horror and nothingness. Love, beauty, sincerity, peace, all are brutes longing for revenge and a bloody beating, while our god of justice stands by bound and blindfolded by his own omnipotence. Your empty gaze of compassion and care is but a camera’s lens searching for a nielsen death-grip on tonight’s phantasmagoria of the six o’clock news. The words and names that once were my joy and my prayer have ripened into my horror and endless curse. Wisdom is but the muttering of fools. Tenderness, the wine before the slaughter. Drunken slumber and empty dreams, the only safety and truth in this universe of horror and lies. Your laughter is but a mocking opiate filling you with delusion. I shall not pretend I care and hurt for you, for you would only turn on my kindness, and devour me like a jackal. Love is worse than a four letter word, it’s truth pales to the horror of a cage of ravenous rats bolted on your face, it’s not the only thing, it’s not the best thing, it is nothing. I am no blameless Job searching for God’s deliverance. I am no devil lusting after the throne. I am quartered in an endless death-grip between heaven and hell. I have become nothing. An invisible pedestrian in a slow-motion/high-speed docudrama, while the director bangs the intern in the trailer. Misery has become my god. Hunger my only pleasure. Thirst, my lust. Smoke, my sunlight. Death, my destiny. *** WOW!! That was fun!!. I must do that again sometime. ha.