Overnight Underground News Feb 26 2019

Mostly correct podcast transcript:

Talking Head: 00:03 And update from yesterday's overnight underground news blip. Vietnam has deported the Kim Jong Un impersonator all this ahead of the Trump's summit with the real Korean leader next week, Howard X, the impersonator in question was given his walking papers after the impersonator held a fake summit with Trump impersonator, Russell White last week. Howard, the Kim Jong Un impersonator had this to say at the news conference before being deported.

Howard X: 00:34 The real reason was basically born with a face and looking like Jong. That's the real crime. I feel a little bit annoyed about what is to be expected of a one party state with no sense of humor.

Talking Head: 00:47 What about two party states with no sense of humor. President Trump said this over the weekend regarding his upcoming meeting with the real Kim.

Donald Trump: 00:54 We're going to have a, I think a very interesting two and a half days in Vietnam and we have a chance for the total denuclearization of an area of the world that was very dangerous. Now there's no testing, there's no rockets, there's no nuclear testing and and we get along well very well.

Talking Head: 01:15 AOC, just such an easy target. The congresswoman suggested over the weekend in between lots of likes, you knows and ums that because climate change is set to obliterate the world, young people should consider not having children,

AOC: 01:33 right? There's scientific consensus that the lives of children are going to be very difficult and it does lead, I think, young people to have a legitimate question. You know, is it okay to still have children?

Talking Head: 01:46 Maybe she could set an example. We could all be better off if she does not breed. AOC also took time off to slam the leader of her own party. AOC barked at Senator Dianne Feinstein's response to pressure from AOC supporters to get behind the socialists green new deal. Feinstein said, I've been doing this for 30 years. I know what I'm doing. AOC's retort.

AOC: 02:09 I don't think that working on an issue for 30 years alone is what qualifies is what makes someone qualified to solve an issue.

Talking Head: 02:20 Whatever. Bloomberg is reporting that the green new deal would cost. Tax payers in the neighborhood of give or take a few sheckles, $93 trillion. In other AOC news. We learned this weekend that the swamp freshmen now has her very own comic book giving new meaning to the phrase. We'll see you in the funny papers

Talking Head: 02:40 in news that should shock absolutely no one. President Trump is now the target of new allegations of sexual misconduct. A, former campaign staffer alleges that Trump laid a wet one on her without her consent. The Washington Post is reporting that the alleged smooch happened back in 2016 in Tampa. Anybody remember this?

Trump: 03:04 I moved on her like a bitch.......

Talking Head: 03:22 It's not the first time for the Trumper to be the target of sexual allegations. Back in 2017 the Guardian reported that 20 women had accused Trump of misconduct.

Speaker 5: 03:34 Yeah.

Talking Head: 03:34 Now let's state the obvious. San Francisco is an expensive city to live in. Go banking rates.com reports that if you earn $192,000 a year in the city by the bay, it's still not enough to be considered middle class San Franciscans. Look at it this way. It may be expensive to live in your beautiful city, but you get all the vagrant feces you could ever need on just about any city Block.

Talking Head: 04:03 A dead humpback whale in the middle of a jungle. It's more likely than you think. Biologists in Brazil are scratching their heads over the mystery of a humpback whale carcass and how it ended up 50 feet from shore in the Amazon jungle. The Brazilian scientists. Yes, we know that's a lot of scientists, found the whale after noticing a flock of vultures circling the carcass. The scientists in question are also puzzled about the potted Petunia found near by and a note that read, oh no, not again.

 

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