Hillary & Bloomberg bow out of 2020, Alabama could be in for more severe weather. SF rent is too dam high and men are underpaid at Google. The coming porn ban in the UK & Mel B gets her private parts scraped to remove traces of her ex.
Mostly Correct Transcript:
Hillary has thrown in the towel. The now non-candidate said in an interview with Wesctchester News 12 TV yesterday that she will not enter the crowded 2020 presidential race. (Byte-Hillary) This is seen as a major setback for all the candidates who were hoping to run against Hillary in the 2020 election. Bernie Sanders has remained silent on rumors that his new campaign slogan was rumored to be, “Bernie 2020, Let’s find out together if I can live 8 more years.” Former New York mayor and all around rich guy Michael Bloomberg also bowed out of the Presidential race. He said at a news conference on Tuesday, that instead he will be launching a new environmental campaign, Beyond Carbon.
Complete devastation in parts of Alabama on Monday as a tornado outbreak in the southeast is responsible for at least 23 deaths. The tornados left more than 10 thousand homes and business without power. If that’s not enough to convince you of the power of these storms, a billboard on US highway 280 is reported to have flown 20 miles and landed intact. To make matters worse, Alabama could see more severe weather and possible tornados this weekend.
In San Francisco, the rent is too damn high. According to rental site Zumper, the city by the bay a one bedroom apartment’s median rent is just under a whopping $3,700 A Month. That is indeed the highest in the nation. Double that of Miami and 30 percent higher than NY City. In somewhat related news, Google’s annual pay equity study found out that one sex employed by the company has a serious gender and racial pay gap problem. The study discovered that male engineers were paid less than women for doing similar jobs, prompting raises to thousands of men for 2019. This comes as the tech giant is fighting a both a class action lawsuit and an investigation by the government alleging underpayment of its female employees. Oops!
Oh my god, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria! On April first, and this is no fooling, the UK begins the free porn ban. Porn sites will be required to get proof of ID from Brit residents before they can watch any smut. When horny surfers land on a porn site, they will have to use what’s called an AgeID username or password to access said porn. You’ll have to shuffle down to local shop and purchase a special ID card which allow you to link to an app known as Portes. That will set you back around 5 pounds and maybe a bit of embarrassment. Or you could just get a VPN.
Spice Girl Mel B recently announced that she had her vagina scraped to remove all traces of her ex. In an interview with The Guardian, promoting her new book, Mel said, They scraped the inside of my vagina and put new tissue in. essentially, you want to scrub yourself clean." She went on to say that she didn’t, “want to feel like the last person that was inside my vagina was this monster." There is no truth to the rumor that the physician found a spare tire, car keys and a flashlight.