Overnight Underground News 1-23-2020

Flee, flee for your lives! The Corona Virus is coming from Mordor. Social Media Influencer or Prostitute? You make the call. The Simpsons has killed off lovable Apu.

China is on lockdown and we’re all going to die! Well, we are, just a matter of when. But your chances of dropping dead from the China Coronavirus are higher today than they were yesterday. Well, actually your chances of being closer to death are generally higher today than yesterday. All that being said, Reuters is reporting that a second Chinese city is now on lockdown and is imposing travel restrictions on three others, Fears are continuing to spread across the Asian region as worry over a mutating coronavirus that has killed 17 people and infected nearly 600, could, well, get very, very bad. It’s believed that the virus originally came from contaminated snake meat. So Floridians, think twice before you butcher any iguanas. What a way to make friends and influenza people China!

OK, OK, everybody panic! According to KABC in Los Angeles, a passenger with possible coronavirus symptoms has arrived at LAX. The passenger reportedly landed in LA from Mexico city. Hey where’s that wall when you need it.

Social Media influencers or prostitutes, you make the call. According to an article from the BBC, social media has become “a catalogue” for men to select their next conquest, with some offering the so-called influencers thousands of dollars in return for making the sign of the two backed beast. According to a spokesman, woman, person from the feminist group Object, the women are being exploited. Wait a second, these influencers over promote themselves on social media and when the get more attention than they bargained for, their being exploited?

Apu is officially dead. After what seemed like years of speculation following allegations of racial insensitivity and cultural nuclear warfare, Hank Azaria will reportedly no longer voice Apu on The Simpsons. Oh my got what will we do! Azaria confirmed to the web site slash film, he will no longer voice the lovable quicky mart business owner. It’s possible Apu could remain on the Simpsons, just not voiced by Azaria. I know, make him transgender with skin whitning and let’s have him voiced by Caitlin Jenner, that can’t possibly piss off anyone. Oh come on, sure it can. Next up on the cultural Simpsons wars, groundskeeper Willie, nah, he’s white and the Scotts are known for their sense of humor.

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