Overnight Underground News 01-24-2020

China building new 1000 bed hospital for plague, nothing to worry about. Houston goes big bada boom! Goop vagina candle gets wangy competition. Serina upset by wang. Obi Wan script not Disney’s only hope.

They say things aren’t that bad in China, however authorities are quickly building a new 1000 bed hospital to deal with the coronavirus. The AP is reporting that Wuhan, the city where the virus got its coming out party, expects to have a 270,000-square-foot hospital built by February third. Damn, that’s like next week, how do they build things so fast? We should get them to build stuff for us!  Call me crazy but h-o-s-p-i-t-a-l is not how you spell crematorium. (byte)

If the virus doesn’t get you, maybe the meteorites will. At least that’s what they’re thinking in Houston. According to the Daily Star, a meteorite or some kind of space debris fell from the sky as what many Houstinites described as a very loud sonic boom came a crashin’ down from the sky causin’ a mighty big boom at a plant in North West Houston. Or it could be just your run of the mill chemical plant explosion in the outskirts of town. Just try and avoid breathing for a while if you live nearby. 

This just in, Serina upset by Wang. (byte) That is all

Move over Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Vagina Candle, you’ve got some new tainty competition. Refinery 29, whoever the hell they are, reports that a new “Smells Like My Penis” candle is getting ready to fap the market. According to the article, the Canadian ad agency Taxi, created the flaming pungent penile replica in the name of gender pay equality. Why not get both! And fill that gender pay gap. 

Sorry to disappoint, but the new Star Wars Obi-Wan series is officially on hold. Why, because apparently the scripts are so bad, Disney is calling for new ones to be written. The series was also knocked down from six to four episodes. The Hollywood Reporter, reports, well after all it is what they do, that after writing two scripts for the Disney Plus series, the dirty little rat that ate Orlando has decided that these were “not the scripts they were looking for”.

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