Here’s the headlines. Unless you invest in COVID-19, you’re probably screwed. Time to stock up on emergency ramen . The Turks and Russians saber rattling. Woman tries to resurrect possum . Police are testing meth, for coronavirus. I’m John Ford and this is your Overnight Underground News.
Good god the stock market really is taking a huge a coronavirus dump. The Dow was down nearly twelve hundred points at the close of trading on Thursday. It’s the biggest one-day point decline in history, surpassing Monday’s drop of just over a thousand points. If you’re doing the math, the Dow is down over three thousand points since the beginning of the week. Nobody is jumping off buildings yet, but they can’t be happy down lower Manhattan way. Asian and European markets are also spiraling downward Friday morning.
CNBC 8 mins ago Fred Imbert and Eustance Huang Stocks tumbled once again on Friday, adding to the market’s worst week since the financial crisis, as worries over the coronavirus and its impact on the economy continue to rattle investor sentiment. The Dow was down more than 1,000 points, or 4.1%.
Let’s see what else is happening in the wonderful world of coronavirus: The former Iranian Ambassador to The Vatican, who’s name I have no idea how to pronounce, has died from everyone’s favorite virus. Iran’s vice president for women and family affairs, who also happens to be an immunologist, has tested positive for COVID-19. Tokyo Disneyland is shutting its doors for the time being and Japan is closing schools until April 8th. Switzerland is banning large events. New Zealand has reported its first case. California Governor Newsom says there are now thirty three people infected in his state, and yet sounds very cool, calm and collected. Trump no care, California is kinda’ like Mexico lite. Indisputable tautological evidence from the commander in chief.
Fears of the coronavirus outbreak have driven down stock markets across the world: The US Dow Jones index fell almost 1,200 points yesterday – its biggest points fall in history Japan’s Nikkei 225 index fell 3% in early trading on Friday Australia’s ASX200 fell by more than 3.5% on Friday “Markets move sharply when fear and uncertainty are prevalent, and there is plenty of both right now,” said Greg McBride, chief financial analyst for Bankrate.com
Are you prepped for the continuing COVID-19 panic? South Koreans have been busy cleaning out the local Costco in one Province. In fact, there is a run on ramen noodles, one local ramen manufacturer says its noodly warehouse is empty. Other big sellers on the Korean pandemic preparedness list include rice and hand sanitizer. Sure, just add a little of that tasty Korean red chili paste and hand sanitizer makes a nice sauce for rice. So, just how bad are things in South Korea? Bad enough that a South Korean official in charge of the ‘coronavirus outbreak’ has allegedly comitted suicide. According to the Filipino Times, he stopped his car in the middle of the Han River bridge, jumped off and subsequently died. He was reportedly heard muttering just before he leapt to his death.
An official from the South Korea Justice Ministry reportedly took his life and jumped off the Han River and died. In a report on Arirang and Seoul Economic Daily, the man came from the Office of Emergency Safety Planning at the Ministry of Justice.
Oh jeez, now dogs may be catching the coronavirus. The Sun is reporting, if you can call what they do reporting, that a dog has tested positive for COVID-19 in Hong Kong. If the diagnosis is confirmed, the infected pomeranian would be the first pet with the virus. Great, now not only do we have to worry about pooches catching the plague, they could be responsible for spreading the damn thing. This is not good news for dogs all the way around in China. Rumors spread last month that Chinese officials were rounding up pets and euthanizing them to stop the spread of coronavirus. Police in the Sichuan Province in China have reportedly knocked on doors and ordered residents to give up their pets before killing them.
Meanwhile in Syria, the Turks and Russians are just short of committing to a declared shooting war. At least thirty three Turkish soldiers were killed on Thursday by air-strikes from Syrian forces. Well, that’s who’s being blamed publicly for it anyway. Turkey says it struck back with strikes on some two hundred Syrian government targets. NATO envoy’s are meeting in Brussels to discuss the situation at Turkey’s request and Russia has sent two warships through the Bosphorus straits en route to Syria. Russia is blaming Ankara for the death of Turkish troops. It’s a very Russian thing to do, “You are to blame for being under the bombs.” Turkey has once again opened its borders allowing immigrants to flow toward Europe, and is now calling for a no-fly zone over Idlib. The Middle East, it’s the bend over, happy fun-time gift that just keeps on giving.
Turkey on Friday called on the international community to establish a no-fly zone over the northwestern province of Idlib to protect civilians from Syrian regime bombardments a day after the killing of 33 Turkish soldiers. “The international community must act to protect civilians and impose a no-fly-zone,” Fahrettin Altun, communications director at the Turkish presidency, said on Twitter.
They’re trying to raise the dead in Waukesha, Wisconsin, dead possums that is. Patch reports that police in Waukesha received reports of a woman who was performing a “spiritual ritual” on a dead possum in the middle of the street. According to the cops. The woman stood over the animal and began throwing goldfish and windshield washer fluid on the dead animal. The police logs state that, “She then pulled out a green bay packer lawn chair and yelled ‘repent’ at the dead animal.” Witnesses stated that the woman then drove from the scene driving erratically. Meth, it’s a hell of a drug.
WAUKESHA, WI – Police in Waukesha say they received reports of a woman who was performing a “spiritual ritual” on a dead possum in the middle of a Waukesha street. According to Waukesha Police call logs, officers were sent to the intersection of Springdale Road and Bluemound Road just after 1 p.m.
In Merrill, Wisconsin the police have both meth and coronavirus covered with their cunning plan. The po-po is asking tweakers to turn in their meth so it can be checked for coronavirus. A Facebook post from the police department exclaims that the cops will test your meth for free and even make house calls. Come on, you can trust them tweakers, the police wouldn’t lie to you, much.
BRISBANE, Australia (WJW) – The family of a 9-year-old Australian boy who went viral after his mother shared a video on social media of him being bullied at school has declined a crowdfunded trip to Disneyland. Quaden Bayles, who was born with a form of dwarfism called Achondroplasia, won the support of well-wishers around the world who saw the video.
Freddy Mercury has been immortalized with his very own street in London. The street, now renamed Mercury Close, is located west London, which is where the Queen singer’s family settled after moving from Zanzibar. It is just a coincidence, but the street happens to be a dead end.